Because of You
by softballgurl2327
Summary: Lily Evans is your typical teenage girl who feels lost in the world. Her father abandoned her when she was 7 years-old and she never forgot what he did to her. "I am like this because of you. All of this is because of you! I just don't understand why..."
1. Chapter 1: Dinners With A Dursley

Chapter 1: Dinners With A Dursley

Standing out on the dock had become a habit for Lily Evans this past holiday. There was something about it that calmed her, and given her year she definitely needed some calm. Not only had this 'Dark Lord' emerged with a goal of killing all the muggleborns like her, but she had also lost her childhood best friend.

Severous Snape, the name now brought a chill down her spine. They had been on thin ice for awhile but his actions this year pushed it over the edge. She couldn't understand how she had been so wrong about him. But to him, it seemed, she was just another mudblood. Her friends had been right about him, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Smiling, she recalled her friends' reactions to that horrendous day by the lake.

Mary Cradock, a close friend of hers and fellow Gryffindor, charged at Snape with every curse she could think of. Which lead to a month of detentions that carried over into the next year.

Her other friend, Gabrielle Smith, was stealthier. She somehow made it into the Slytherin common room, and tied Snape unconscious to a branch of the oak tree which overlooked the Black Lake.

"LILLIAN!"

Lily cringed as she heard her mother's shrill voice cutting through the peaceful quiet. "COMING!" She hollered back as she slowly made her way towards the house. "Yes mother?" She asked as she entered her country home.

"Petunia is having Vernon over tonight, so I need you to cook dinner while I help her get ready." She said as she untied her apron and handed it to her.

"Ugh, what does she see in him? Honestly, she can do so much better. All he does is eat and talk about his drills. I mean no one really cares how many drills he sold this quarter!"

"Lillian…"

"Don't try and deny it. I can't stand her and even I think she can do better. She's your daughter! Shouldn't you want more for her?"

"Lillian, I love Petunia. I really do. Of course I want more for her, but this is what she wants so I am trying to be supportive. Now cook dinner, I already started it." She said as she pointed to the half-cooked stew, and walked up the stairs towards Petunia's room.

Lily truly did not see what it was that was so wonderful about Vernon Dursley. And as she sat through this dinner she kept finding more and more things that annoyed her about him. Everything from the way he talked, with his mouth full, to what he talked about, his new promotion at work, had her itching to throw him out of the house. How anyone could listen to this without going mad was shocking to her, but Petunia was looking at him like everything he said was vital to her. It was sickening.

"You see, some people don't understand the importance of a good game of golf. I believe it was my excellence on the green that sealed the deal with the Donnelle case. After that they gave me the position as head of sales. I'll be surprised if I don't get transferred to corporate by the end of the year." Vernon finished smugly as he continued to chomp down on his dinner.

"And where are the corporate offices?" Mrs. Evans asked. _'Somewhere far far away from here, hopefully.'_ Lily thought as she looked from him to Petunia to her mother, it truly was disgusting how accepting of him they were.

"The offices are in Dewsbury, it's only a ½ hour drive from here."

'_Damn it, there goes that plan.'_ Lily sulked as she stood up to clear the table, which was her responsibility, since Petunia had a guest. '_Five more days'_ she kept repeating to herself _'five more days and I'm back at Hogwarts.'_

Those five days passed by dreadfully slow. Vernon came over every night for dinner. Which meant Lily had to sit and listen to him go on and on about his company. On the third day of this Lily was pleased to see annoyance creeping on her mother's face as he once again went into extreme detail on how he sealed the deal with a wealthy client. The way he described it one would think that he solved a baffling murder case, rather than selling a few drills.

But Lily was not to judge, she was meant to be supportive. And it was killing her. _'How could she not see that she deserves better than him?'_ Lily thought as she cleaned the table the night before she was due back at school. Petunia and Vernon had left to see a film, and her mother had just retired for the night, so she was free to do whatever she wanted. The question was, what did she want?

She couldn't go see a film because she did not want to run into Petunia and Vernon and frankly it is pathetic to go by yourself. She didn't have any friends here because once she started attending Hogwarts she had lost touch with the girls who had once been her friends. So on her first day of freedom all summer, she was stuck at home with nothing to do. _'Well this is just bloody perfect.'_ Lily thought as she climbed the stairs to her room.

She had already done all her homework and packing. The only thing she had left to do was read the stack of letters which had accumulated on her desk. Grabbing the stack, she sat down on her bed, separating them into piles. _'Snape…rubbish, Snape…rubbish, Mary…read, Potter…rubbish, Gabrielle…read, Snape…Snape…Snape…yup the rest of this is rubbish.'_ She thought as she threw away all the letters he sent her. She turned to the letters Mary and Gabrielle had sent her.

Dear Lily,

I have barely heard from you this summer. Has Petunia and that rat that she's dating been treating you okay? I remember some of the stories you told us about them and I don't like the sound of that man. France has been absolutely wonderful! The boys here are so well-mannered and considerate. I'm coming back here after I graduate to find by husband that is if I haven't already! As you can probably guess I met a guy! His name is Pierre Lafluer. He is six foot four; almost a foot taller than me but its okay because I wore heels a lot! He has the most gorgeous blue eyes and really dark skin. (I enclosed a picture of us!) I'll tell you all about him when I see you on Thursday!

Your friend,

Mary

The picture Mary enclosed showed her and Pierre standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. He was quite taller than her, as she was five foot six. But his dark hair and blue eyes matched perfectly with her blonde hair and green eyes; the two complimented each other, that much was obvious. They looked at complete ease with each other, her arms wrapped around his waist and his arm gently laid across her shoulders with matching grins on their faces. Lily couldn't help but smile as she looked at the two of them. She tore her eyes away from the picture to look at Gabrielle's letter.

Dear Lily,

First of all, why haven't you been writing? It is very nerve-wrecking asking you for advice and then not hearing from you for a few days! But alas there is nothing I can do about this sad, sad situation *sigh*. Luckily, school starts up again on Thursday and you can't ignore me there! But, in all seriousness, are you okay? What happened at the end of the year must have really hurt. I have no idea how I would handle that so I can't even imagine what you are going through. Please write me back to let me know your okay, but since you're probably too busy running the household, I'll just have to wait until Thursday.

With much impatience,

Gabrielle

Smiling to herself, Lily placed the letters on her bedside table. _'I made it, in ten hours I will be leaving for Hogwarts. No more Petunia, no more Vernon, and no more drills…until next summer.' _Lily thought happily as she quickly fell asleep.

"LILLIAN! UP! NOW!" Mrs. Evans called as she rushed around the kitchen trying to prepare breakfast.

"Five more minutes…" Lily mumbled as she pulled the blankets up over her head to try and block out the noise of her mother moving around downstairs.

"Honestly Lillian." Mrs. Evans sighed as she pulled the blankets off of her daughter's bed. "We need to leave in half an hour for the train!"

"Half an hour! Why didn't you wake me?" Lily yelled as she jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Sighing, Mrs. Evans grabbed her trunk and took it down to the car. _'I might as well pack her breakfast too.'_ She thought as she walked back into the kitchen.

"I'm ready, I'm ready!" Lily yelled twenty minutes later, as she ran down the stairs.

"Finally, I have your breakfast. You're trunk is already in the car. Let's go." Mrs. Evans called as she grabbed the keys off the table and walked out to the car.

Within fifteen minutes the two were at Kings Cross Station. "Hurry up mum, or I'm going to miss the train!" Lily yelled as she pushed her way through the crowd.

"Lillian, we have twenty minutes. There is no need to make a scene." Mrs. Evans huffed as she followed behind her daughter. "Now behave yourself, I'll see you at Christmas." She said curtly as she pulled Lily in for a quick hug as they reached the barrier.

A/N- Okay this is rough I will admit, but I haven't written in months so I wanted to get this out here. And I am not abandoning my story 'My Bliss, My Savior' I just needed to write and I have no idea where I am going with that story right now. I have had no motivation what so ever so I started this one. I will finish that story though don't worry. Now review please =)


	2. Chapter 2: The Return To Hogwarts

Chapter 2: The Return To Hogwarts

Smiling to herself, Lily quickly crossed the barrier and entered Platform 9 ¾. As soon as she had her trunk safely stored on the train, she looked around for her friends. Suddenly a pair of hands wrapped themselves around her neck. "LILY!" Mary cried as she tightened the grip on her friend. "I've missed you so much!"

"Mary. Can't. Breathe." Lily choked out as she fell to her knees.

"Oh, sorry. Guess I got a little too excited. Now hurry up, Gabi is holding a compartment for us." Mary said as she skipped over to the door. "Are you coming?"

Grumbling to herself, Lily stood up and followed Mary onto the train and down the corridor to the compartment that Gabi was holding for them. "Hey Gabi!" Lily called as she shut the door. As soon as it closed, Mary stood up and pushed her into a seat, looking from Gabi to Lily with big eyes.

"Okay there is something I have to tell you. Something big, but you have to promise you won't freak out, okay?"

"Mary, what did you do?" Gabi sighed as she put her head in her hands and started to massage her temples.

"Well do you remember me telling you about Pierre?"

"The guy you meet in France? Yeah…why?"

"Oh Merlin, you slept with him didn't you?" Lily yelled as she jumped up out of her seat. "Oh my Merlin, are you pregnant? You're pregnant! See this is why you cannot do that! Your whole life is ruined now! You are going to have to drop out of school and get a job. You only have your OWLS! You can't get a good job with that, but I guess you'll have to. Is he going to help? Does he even know? You didn't tell him did you? Oh of course you did, but he's not sticking around. The thought of a child obviously scares him. I mean he is only seventeen. He shouldn't be a father yet. You shouldn't even be pregnant. Oh Merlin you're going to have an abortion. You cannot do that! You cannot kill this baby for your mistakes, I won't let you!" Lily yelled as she stopped her pacing to turn and glare at Mary. '_Honestly, what was she thinking?' _

"Lily, calm down. He's not leaving, I'm not pregnant, and I didn't sleep with him." Mary said as she bit back a smile. It was a good thing she thought to put a silencing charm on the door.

'He's not. You're not. You didn't. Then why didn't you stop me from rambling on?" Lily looked at her friend accusingly. Did she not understand that she almost had a heart attack right there in their compartment!

"Because it was entertaining watching you rant like that." Mary said simply as she turned to Gabi to continue. "The problem isn't that he's leaving me. It's that I might be leaving you. When I was staying with Mark this summer I couldn't help but notice how the Voldemort movement hasn't reached there yet, and apparently by parents noticed it to because they are considering making me live with him, indefinitely. They want me to live there and get engaged to Pierre." Mark was Mary's older brother and rented an apartment right outside of Paris.

"You're leaving?" Gabi whispered, too shocked to talk in a normal voice.

"I'm finishing this year at Hogwarts and then I am leaving for France again, but hopefully I will be able to convince them to let me finish out my schooling here, I mean it is only one more year and I'll be with Dumbledore. I don't think it will be too hard to convince them, but they are so set on me marrying Pierre. They almost made me stay this year. But since Pierre was going away for school, they let me go too." Mary said as she fell back on the seats, looking completely defeated.

"Wow, you just met Pierre and your family has you guys getting married already?" Lily asked shocked.

"Lily that's the way it is in the magical world. I didn't just meet Pierre. I was set up with him. When I was born, my parents choose three boys from respectable families. And since I will become of age in December I have to choose which of these three boys I'm going to marry and I chose Pierre." Mary said calmly.

"So you're getting married next year?"

"No, I'm probably going to get engaged over the holidays and get married after I graduate."

"Wow." Lily said as she fell back on her seat. "Arranged marriages aren't common in the muggle world."

"They aren't too common here either. But my parents are very set on me doing this so I don't have a choice." Mary said as she looked at Gabi who had remained silent throughout this conversation.

"Who were the other guys?" Lily asked as she too glanced at Gabi who was sitting there with a contemplating look on her face.

"Brian from Ravenclaw, Pierre obviously and the third one I never met."

"Why didn't you choose Brian?" Lily asked as she tried to wrap her head around the fact that her friend was being married off at the end of the year.

"Because Brian never liked me, he's dating Maggie so that would just be weird." Mary finished with a shudder.

'I just can't believe this right now." Gabi said as she stood and walked out of the compartment.

() () () ()

It had been a few weeks since what Lily had dubbed the 'train incident' had occurred and things were still sketchy between the Gryffindor 6th year girls. Gabi was set on avoiding the whole issue, but Mary wanted their opinion on everything from dates to flowers to the china pattern.

"Just fucking plan it by yourself! If you are mature enough to get _married_ you should be able to plan the wedding by yourself!" Gabi snapped when once again Mary was asking their opinions.

"It's not like it's my choice! And sorry for wanting the opinions of my so-called friends! Most people plan their weddings with their friends!"

"NO! Most people plan them with their fiancée!"

"What is your problem?"

"You are my problem! I can't deal with this Mary. I just…I can't." Gabi said as she ran out of the room and slammed the door. Awkwardly standing there Lily turned to look at Mary but she had thrown herself down on the bed and was already crying, so Lily just calmly walked out of the dorms and into the common room, hoping for some peace and quiet. But she was not down there for five minutes before James Potter had made his way over to her.

A/N- okay I'm cutting it off here. I promise the story will pick up. The beginnings are always slow. Next chapter is the first Lily and James encounter of 6th year and since the episode at the lake last year.

Poll: Should I include a flashback to 5th year after the lake incident?


	3. Chapter 3: Drama

Chapter 3: Drama

'_Why does this year have to have so much drama?' _Lily thought as she walked down the stairs to the common room. Plopping herself down on the sofa, she tried to forget about what had just happened in her dorms and focus on the Transfiguration essay that is due at the end of the week.

"Well well well, look who it is!" James Potter exclaimed as he walked down the stairs. Lily involuntarily groaned at his voice. _'James Potter,' _Lily thought, '_he has to be the most unoriginal prat on the face of the earth, but for some reason all of the girls crush on him. I mean sure he's tall, probably about 6 foot 3. And yes he has the kind of hair that you just want to run your fingers through, its black and never lies flat. And I guess you could say that his eyes, the perfect hazel color, make you want to melt…what were we talking about? Oh yeah, James. He is such a prick, ugh.'_ "Evans! Aren't you going to say hi to me?" James fake pouted as he sat himself next to Lily.

"Hi Potter. Bye Potter." Lily said, her eyes never leaving the parchment in front of her.

"That's not what I meant. I haven't seen you yet this year besides at lessons. I think you've been avoiding me." Lily didn't have to look at him to know he was smirking right now.

Sighing, Lily tore her eyes away from the parchment. "No I haven't been avoiding you. I've just been busy like I am right now." Lily snapped as she grabbed her parchment in an attempt to escape to the library.

"Lily, wait." James whispered as he grabbed her arm. "I want to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you."

"Please, just five minutes." James pleaded. She didn't know how but one look at his hazel eyes she felt herself agreeing to do the very thing she promised herself she would never do. Have a private chat with James Potter. He took her wrist again and led her out of the common room and down the corridor. After about three minutes of walking he turned abruptly and pulled her behind a tapestry.

"Wow you really didn't want anyone to hear this." Lily said as she regained her balance.

"I want the truth and I know that if someone else could hear it, you wouldn't tell me. Now I'm only going to ask you this once and whatever you say I'll believe you. I just…I have to know." James rambled as he looked at his feet. "Last year, when I was picking on Snape by the lake, and he called you…that name, did he really only do that because I was picking on him? Did I really ruin your friendship with him?"

"No, my friendship with Sev was already on thin ice. And he called everyone from my birth a mudblood. Oh get over it. I'm a mudblood and I'm proud." Lily said as James tried to interrupt her. "Anyways, while if you hadn't been picking on him he probably wouldn't have called me that it doesn't matter, he would have slipped up eventually. It was only a matter of time."

'I'm sorry. I really screwed up."

"Potter, it's not your fault. The only person who can take the blame for my friendship with Sev ending is Sev. You didn't make him say that. He did it by himself. Thank you, but for once it's not your fault." Lily said astonished that a talk with Potter was going so well.

"I just felt really guilty. I have to go now, but I'll see you around?" He said with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah, bye." Lily said as she watched him walk away. _'Who would have thought that Potter was feeling guilty?_'' Lily thought as she sat down in the little alcove, remembering the incident last year.

**FLASHBACK **

"I don't need help from any mudbloods like her!" Snape's words echoed through her head as Lily ran to the castle. She had known that her friendship with Sev was dwindling, but she never thought it would end like this. She ran all the way from the lake to the dorms.

Hours later Mary found her lying on her bed, still thinking about what Sev had said. "Lily, I know you don't want to talk to him, but Snape is outside the portrait and he says he's going to stay there until you come talk to him." Mary said as she approached Lily's bed.

"He's going to have to leave eventually. Curfew is in a few hours."

"He says he is going to sleep outside the portrait if that's what it takes."

"Fine I'll go talk to him." Lily said in a monotone voice as she sat up and walked down the stairs towards the portrait hole.

() () () ()

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT SNAPE!"Lily bellowed as Snape had once again taken her aside to 'talk' about what happened by the lake.

"You don't understand!" Snape said for the hundredth time. "If Potter hadn't been picking on me then I never would have said it! It's all his fault!"

"For the last time Potter didn't make you do anything! Did he force you to call me that? No you did that all by yourself. You call everyone else from my birth that. How am I different? Why are you apologizing to me over and over but you never once said anything to them?"

"I will apologize to every one of them if that's what it takes."

"That's not the point. Just stop talking to me, and stop apologizing because I know you don't actually mean it. Just ignore me like you do Mary and Gabrielle." Lily said as she walked away from Snape.

**END FLASHBACK**

The memories from last year were swirling around her brain along with a lot of confusion. She kept repeating the same questions over and over again.

Why was Snape so adamant at apologizing when they hadn't talked in months?

Why was Potter so worried that it was his fault?

Why did this have to happen to her?

'Last year was just not a good year, and I am not going to let this one be anything like that. I got to protect myself better. I can't be getting crushed like this. Remember the past. You have to stay strong.' Lily thought as she stood up, ready to embrace the hell the world was throwing at her right now.

() () () ()

"I'm here." James called as he continued to run towards the other boys. "I'm here. Sorry I got caught up with something."

"I'm sure you did." Sirius snorted. Sirius was James' best friend and always knew how to read him. It was one of his many skills.

"What's that supposed to mean?" James snapped as he turned to glare at him.

"Nothing. Just, I saw you go off with Evans." Sirius smirked. Sirius' smirks could melt hearts. The fact that he was tall, 6 foot 4, and had the perfect Quidditch body along with long black hair and stormy grey eyes, didn't hurt either.

"Nothing happened, Pads." James said curtly as he looked him straight in the eye.

"Okay, I believe." He said slowly as he turned to Remus who was just standing in the background as usual. "Ready?"

"Well now that James has graced us with his presence. Yes we are ready." Remus said as he marched ahead, leading the Marauders to their favorite place to plot havoc. The Room of Requirement.

() () () ()

That Friday started out like any other for Lily Evans. Lessons were as boring as ever, except perhaps when Crabbe's cauldron caught fire because he added bowstruckle instead of boestring. Honestly that chap is so pathetically dim-witted. That however was not what made that day stand out. No that occurred that night at dinner.

The whole school was in edge as the Marauders had not done any big pranks yet this year, but this was the last thing on Lily Evans' mind as she sat down for dinner. Perhaps if she wasn't so occupied with the letter that was sitting in front of her maybe she would have recognized the signs and maybe she wouldn't have taken the treacle tart. But we shall never know because the only thing that matters is she wasn't paying attention and she did grab the treacle tart instead of the pumpkin pasties.

Halfway through her treacle tart she heard a weird popping noise right next to her ear. She impatiently waved her hand and continued reading her letter. _'This is unbelievable._' Lily thought _'This is un-bloody-believable.'_ She didn't even hear the entire hall breaking out in laughter as she stood and calmly walked out of the hall. Because for Lily Evans the turning point in her day was not the Marauders' first prank of the year which caused everyone who eat the treacle tart to have puffs of green smoke come out their ears and their hair to turn orange. No, it was the contents of the letter she received.

'_After everything he's done to me. Or rather hasn't done he somehow feels the need to do this! I haven't heard or seen him in years and now suddenly he wants to start seeing me again! What is he thinking? Does he not realise how screwed up this is? How screwed up he made me! He thinks he can just send a fucking letter and everything will be fixed? Hell no!'_ Lily passed back and forth in front of the doors as she had this internal struggle of sorts.

"I just don't understand how he could do this." Lily said aloud as she leaned back against the wall, her head pulsing.

"Evans?" Lily heard someone call. _'Merlin I don't want to talk to anyone right now.'_ Not three seconds later, Potter popped his fat head around the corner. It's not literally fat. It's actually pretty well proportioned to the rest of his body. And that's not the point, anyways… "Evans?" Potter called when he say her looking completely ridiculous and completely defeated leaning against the wall. He silently preformed the counter curse, as he walked over to her. "Lily, are you alright?"

She felt the answer already forming on her lips, the same answer she gave every time someone asked that question, 'I'm fine, why?' but this time a different answer came. "Honestly, no I'm not." She was finally admitting that everything was not alright and she was not fine. The question was why was she admitting this to him? Sure they had gotten along pretty well this year, but in the past years they absolutely hated each other.

"Oh, do you want to talk about it."

"Nope." _'Well at least I got that answer right.'_ Lily thought sourly as she tried to figure out what made her finally admit the truth. _'It must have been because he called me Lily. It threw me off, yup all his fault.'_

"Well then do you want to go on a walk?"

Once again she wasn't sure why but she soon found herself agreeing with him. "Okay, let's go out by the lake."

A/N- I know this isn't that long of a chapter, but it is longer than my other ones. I am going on vacation these next two weeks, so updates will be limited especially because I am not allowed to bring my laptop =( I will try to get on the computer for a little bit though. Send me those reviews to motivate me please =)


	4. Chapter 4: An After Dinner Stroll

Chapter 4: An After-Dinner Stroll

The two walked in silence as they approached the Black lake. He, trying to figure out what had gotten her so upset, and she trying to forget what she had read in the letter. She was watching the trees dance in the wind, and the Giant squid splashing around, basking in the last few minutes of daylight, when suddenly James turned to her and asked, "Are you cold?" It wasn't until now that she realized that she was slightly shaking as they walked. She didn't want to say it was because of the anger at what she had just read so she slowly nodded her head. What he did next she did not expect.

James Potter, THE James Potter, took off his cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. A small grin spread on Lily's face as she pulled the cloak tighter around her. They walked for a few more minutes in silence, before James spoke again. "Err…I know this is kind of a personal question, but what was in that letter that made you so upset? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He finished really fast and looked back down at the ground. _'I went too far, I ruined this. She's about to dart back toward the castle. That's what you get for pushing your luck. This is the first time we have been alone without fighting since…'_

"Why?" Lily asked as she turned to look at him. This single word didn't even seem to register with him. He tripped over himself as he turned to look at her.

"What?"

"I said, 'Why?'."

"No, I got that, what I meant was what do you mean?"

"Why do you care?" She said it so simply that it took him a second to respond, as if it was a test.

"Because I care about you," he said slowly as he stared right into her beautiful green eyes. "I know you think this is just some joke, but I really do care for you Lily." What she did next surprised the both of them. She took one step, and then another, until the small gap between them was closed. And every so slowly, she rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist.

James just stood there for a moment, taking everything in. He didn't want to forget anything about this moment. He memorized the look of the last rays of sunshine reflecting off the lake, the sounds of laughter and silverware clinking in the Great Hall and finally the feel of the small redhead who had her head on his chest, and her tiny arms wrapped around his waist.

He delicately placed his arms around her, afraid that at his touch she would suddenly run in the other direction. But it had the opposite effect, as soon as she felt his arms around her, the tears she had been holding in finally fell. This time, his reaction was immediate. He tightened his arms around her, and put his cheek on the top of her head, trying to take away her pain. His heart, which was beating faster than ever before a few seconds ago, plummeted.

He never knew hearing a girl cry could hurt this much. Unsure of what to do, he just simply held her tight against his chest and rubbed her back. After a few minutes he started humming a song his mother used to sing to him whenever he was upset. He couldn't remember the words, but the tune stood out in his mind like he had just heard it.

"So if you're mad, get mad

Don't hold it all inside,

Come on and talk to me now." Lily mumbled against his chest, amazed that he even knew a muggle song.

"What did you say?" James whispered as he pulled away slightly so he could hear her answer.

"Nothing, it was just the lyrics to that song."

"You know that song?" James asked flabbergasted, none of the boys had ever heard of it.

"Funny, I was going to say the same to you. How do you know that song?"

"My mum used to sing it to me whenever I got upset when I was growing up."

"Oh, You're mum's a muggleborn." They way she just stated this threw him for a loop.

"How did you know that?"

"It's just that's a muggle song. Not a lot of people here know it."

"Oh, gotcha. What's that song called by the way?"

"It's _'I'll Stand by You'_ by the Pretenders." Lily said as she stepped out of his embrace and continued walking, her eyes trained on the ground.

"Well I guess that was appropriate then." James chuckled as he fell into step with her once again.

"I need to go back to Gryffindor Tower." Lily said her back suddenly stiff as she turned on her heel and darted back to the castle.

"Lily, wait up! I'll walk back with you!" James yelled as he jogged to catch up with her.

"I can walk myself back to the tower."

"Lily, come on."

"Fine." The two made their way back to the castle without saying another word.

Lily and James passed the entrance to the Great Hall just as another student left, causing the aforementioned student to be run over by Lily. As she started to get up, she realized this was not some random student she tripped over. Oh no, because that would mean the universe was actually being nice to her, no the student she ran into was none other than Severus Snape. For a moment she just sat there staring into those cold black eyes, the ones that used to belong to her best friend. But Snape, realizing just who he knocked into jumped right up as if the ground was burning him and continued to walk down the hallway.

"Lily? Are…err…are you alright?" James asked awkwardly as he bent down next to her. It had been a while since she had moved and Snape was already halfway down the hall.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lily said, her voice harsh. She cleared her throat and accepted James' hand to help her get up. And it was at this moment that Snape decided to glance back and all he could see was Lily with her hand in James'. Anger immediately spread through his veins, and he continued on his way to the Slytherin common room to plan his revenge on the boy who had ruined his life and stolen the woman of his dreams.

"Are you sure you're alright?" James asked for about the fifth time as they approached the Fat Lady. "Bowstruckles"

"I told you, I'm fine. I wish you would stop asking me that."

"Sorry, I'm just worried about you." James said as they stepped into the common room. Lily couldn't get rid of the small grin on her face at those words. Silently she handed him back his cloak and walked, as calmly as she could, up to the girls' dormitory.

A/N- Wow it's been awhile, that's why this one is short I wanted to get it up her tonight. I wrote it all today so please don't critique it too hard, but as always review. And yes I know that the song I'll Stand by You didn't come on until 1994, but it came up on my playlist and it fit for this part so please don't be too mad at me I'm not really that familiar with music during the time period where they would be in school. I already have a few ideas for next chapter but I would like some of your ideas.

How big should Snape's revenge be?

What should Snape's revenge be?

What do you think of the cute little scene of James and Lily?

How should Lily tell the girls about that night?

Should it be smooth sailing for awhile, or should our favorite couple face more drama before they get together?


	5. Chapter 5: Catfight With a Side Of

A/N- I would just like to warn you there is some cussing in this chapter, please don't take offense.

Chapter 5: Catfight With A Side Of Heartache

Lily slowly climbed the steps to the girls' dormitory. She could feel Potter's eyes on her as she walked, and for some unknown reason this kept the small smile on her face. However, this simple smile fell off her face as she opened the door that led to the 6th year girls' room.

Lily opened the door just in time to see Mary slap Gabi across the face. For a second Lily just stood there in shock, her entrance going unnoticed by the girls, who were now fighting on the floor. "PROTEGO!" Lily shouted as she came to her senses. The two girls sprang apart instantly, and looked around trying to find out what had interrupted them. "What in the name of Merlin do you two think you're doing?" Lily shrieked as she stepped in between the two girls, she kept her wards up just in case they lunged at each other again. When no one said anything Lily just got more pissed. "Someone better tell me what is going on right now or I'm going to flip out!"

"Why don't you ask her? She's the 'mature' one here." Gabi sneered as she looked at Mary.

"What is your problem, Gabi? You have been snapping at me left and right all year! Did I do something to piss you off or have you just been taking too many of those pills you keep stashed under your bed?"

"What?" Lily and Gabi screamed at the same time.

"Oh yeah, I know about those. I also know you have taken up the habit of puking your guts out every morning. We have been in school for two months and you have been popping pills since we got here. Having trouble with Eric now are we?" Mary said smugly as she looked down her nose at the girl squirming in the corner.

Lily was stunned.

"How do you know about Eric? How do you know about any of this?" Gabi said as she stared fearfully at Mary.

"Wait just a second! What has been going on here? And who in the bloody hell is Eric?" Lily said as she looked back and forth between Mary and Gabi.

"Eric is, well, was the boy I was seeing." Gabi said as she looked down at her feet.

"WHAT? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone Lily. I still don't understand how she found out." Gabi sneered.

"You aren't as sneaky as you think, I found out at the end of last year. Remember when you borrowed my blue silk top with the white sequins? Well I needed it back so I looked in your wardrobe and found some of your letters to him."

"You looked through my stuff? You little bitch!" Gabi yelled as she tried to lunge at her through the force field.

"Hah! That's rich coming from you! You've been acting like a bitch for weeks. But you're not a bitch are you? Nah you're just a dirty little whore!"

"Mary! Watch your mouth!" Lily yelled appalled at how her two best friends were acting. "Honestly, what has gotten into you two?"

"It's not fair!" Gabi suddenly yelled as a few tears trickled down her cheeks. "You get everything! How did you get a proposal out of Pierre? Huh? I dated Eric for TWO YEARS! Two years and then suddenly it was over. I slept with him! I'm carrying his child! But that still isn't enough! How did you do it? How come you get a wedding and a life together and I don't get any of it?" Gabi sobbed as she fell to the floor.

The two girls just stood and watched their friend for a few minutes unable to move from the shock at what she had just said. "Oh Merlin, Gabi what happened?" Lily asked as she knelt down next to her friend.

"We had been dating for awhile, and I felt so comfortable around him. I know it was stupid, but we were making out and we just kept going. I didn't even realize what was going on at first. It just felt good to be wanted for once, to feel loved."

"Gabi? I am so sorry. I don't even know what to say." Mary said from her spot across the room, she hadn't moved since Gabi started crying.

"No, I'm sorry. This isn't your fault, it's mine. I guess I was just blinded by my jealousy. Just promise me you won't take advantage of this. Just remember I would give anything to be in your shoes right now."

"So the puking, that was morning sickness?"

"Yea and the pills are all the prenatal ones I have to take."

"Why do you have to take so many I thought you usually only had to take one." Lily asked, as she put her arm around her distraught friend.

"You guys know growing up it was only me and my dad, right? The reason was my mum wasn't exactly the best person when she was pregnant with me, so my dad left her right after I was born. The truth is she couldn't give up doing her precious drugs when she was pregnant. As a result I have been on a lot of medication to counter the effects of that. But one of the side effects is that my body can't support a baby so I have to take a lot of pills to support the baby's growth."

"Wow, Gabi I never knew your mum did that. I thought you told me she died?"

"That's just what we tell everyone because the truth is kind of embarrassing." Gabi said as she stood up, trying to collect herself.

"Sweetie that is not embarrassing, your mum made some bad decisions. That's nothing to be ashamed of." Lily said from her spot on the ground.

"You don't understand. My mum cared more about her damn drugs than she did me! And my dad hasn't stopped blaming me for their split since she moved out. You don't know what it's like to live like that."

"I don't know what it's like?" Lily said with her eyebrows raised. "I can barely remember my father. I'm basically shunned by my mum half the time because I look like him! When she looks at me all she sees is the bum who dumped her one morning with two children to raise and no money. And you want to tell me that I don't know what it's like?" Lily snapped as she yelled at Gabi. All the anger at her father from sending her that letter returned.

"This is a lot of information to process at once." Mary said as she looked in between her friends. "I never knew you guys went through all of that."

"And now my baby is going to have to deal with it. I can't believe I did this." Gabi said as she fell onto her bed, her hands lying on her slightly swelling stomach.

"No, your baby is not going to end up like that. Your baby will have a remarkable mum and two aunts that will spoil the heck out of him or her. Right, Mary?"

"Of course, we're here for you Gabi. We aren't going anywhere, don't worry." She said as she pulled Gabi and Lily in for a group hug.

"Really?"

"Absolutely." The girls stayed in their group hug for awhile. And then they did something they hadn't done in a long time. They pushed Mary's bed, as it was closer, up next to Gabi's and just laid there, thinking about how much their lives were changing. No one had said anything for awhile when suddenly Mary's voice cut through the silence.

"So, how far along are you?"

"I'm 11 weeks, I found out right after we got here."

"Have you told anyone yet?" Lily asked from Gabi's other side.

"Madam Greene and you guys are the only ones who know."

"You haven't told your dad?" Mary asked.

"No, and I'm not going to. He's not living with me anymore, he moved out over the summer. He gave me his credit card, and he still pays the taxes and stuff, but I'm living on my own now."

"I don't understand, why?" Mary asked as she propped herself up her elbow to look at Gabi as she responded.

"He started seeing some woman, and they moved in together over the summer. We don't exactly get along, so I'm staying at the house alone."

"I can't believe he is letting you live on your own like that, it's so cool."

"Well, I'm not going to be alone anymore, am I?" Gabi said as she rubbed her hand over her belly.

"So you are going to keep the baby?" Lily asked.

"Of course, I could never get an abortion, and I don't think I would be able to watch someone else raise my child and know that they are out there but not know them."

"I guess that's fair but that's going to be hard. How are you going to finish your schooling?" Lily asked, as always she was thinking about the academic side.

"I have no idea, it's not like I can come here with a kid. Life is never going to be the same now is it?"

"No, I wish I had a better answer but truthfully, no it's never going to be the same." Lily said as she stared at the ceiling, little did they know she was thinking about her life and what might or might not be happening with Potter.

A/N- Twist? I thought this might be an interesting spin for the story. I would like some feedback please as this chapter was really out there but don't sugar-coat it, tell me how you really feel please =). As always a few questions…

How should everyone react to the news that someone at Hogwarts is pregnant?

How should Eric factor into this scenario?

Any other thoughts about what should happen to Gabi would be really appreciated. =)


	6. Chapter 6: Just Walk Away

Chapter 6: Just Walk Away

The girls woke up the next morning tangled in each other's arms, the news from last night finally settling in. Without saying a word they each showered, got dressed, and headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Luckily, it was a Saturday so they didn't have to worry about classes. The girls sat silently through breakfast as they thought about how all of their lives were going to change with the news of the pregnancy. Mary was trying to think of a way to get in touch with Eric and trying to figure out if Gabi even told him that she is pregnant. Gabi was trying to figure out how in the world she was supposed to afford this baby. Lily was going through all the possible options for her to finish her schooling, when none other than James Potter sat down right next to her.

"Hey Lily!" James said as he slid in next to her followed by his ever-present entourage.

"Geez what's everyone so tense about?" Sirius barked as he sat down next to Mary. He grabbed the apple off her plate and took a big bite out of it, as he looked around at all the girl's faces. Without saying a word all the girls stood up and started to walk out of the hall. The boys just stared at them.

"Way to go Pads." James said as he picked the apple out of his hand and threw it at his face. You never ask a girl what's wrong with them if you've never actually had a conversation with them. Merlin you are so dense." And with that James stormed out of the Great Hall behind the girls.

"Lily! Lily! Lily please…" James yelled as he jogged to catch up with her. Lily stopped dead in her tracks, but she kept her head towards the stairs, which she was about to climb. "Lily, I'm sorry, Sirius, he doesn't think before he speaks…" His eyes searched hers trying to see what exactly it was that she was upset about. "Are you… is this still about what happened the other night? Is there anything I could do? I could… I don't know… tell me what you need." James stuttered out.

"Right Now, I really need you to leave me alone." Lily said as she walked up the stairs. James just stood there. And he was still standing there fifteen minutes later when Sirius and Remus left the Great Hall and almost ran right into him.

"Prongs? What are you doing out here?" Sirius asked as he waved his hand in front of James' face. Without a word James turned and headed out the doors towards the Quidditch Pitch. He needed to think.

"Okay I don't care what you guys say, there is something bothering that bloke." Sirius laughed as he looked out the doors.

"Sirius, would it kill you to be a little more sensitive to what other people are going through? Why is everything such a joke to you?"

"Remus, I am a very serious person. Serious is my middle name…well actually it's my first, so that makes me even more serious!" As Sirius laughed at his own little joke he noticed Remus shake his head and walk away, "Hey! Where are you going?"

"To spend sometime with people who aren't complete morons." Remus said snidely as he continued his way up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. Sirius stopped his laughter once he realized that Remus wasn't making a joke. Confused he shoved his hands in his pocket and walked out the doors, he needed to clear his head.

() () () ()

"Gabi! This is something we need to talk about." Mary yelled through the bathroom door as Lily opened the door into their shared dorm.

"What are you talking about Mary?" Lily said as she dropped her books on the floor and lay down on her bed.

"Gabi won't tell me if she told Eric about this."

"Mary, what kind of question is that? Of course she told Eric."

"Actually…" Gabi said as she stepped out from the bathroom, her face drenched in sweat. "He doesn't know and he doesn't need to."

"He doesn't need to… are you crazy?" Lily said as she jumped off her bed.

"Lily, I know you probably don't agree with me, but we had already broken up by the time I found out I was pregnant. If I told him and he didn't want anything to do with this baby I don't think I could take that because I know this baby is going to ask me about him someday and I don't want to have to lie. And if I told him and he decided to stick around then this baby would be the only reason he was sticking around and everything between us would be so tense. Because I know he doesn't really want me. I can't do this to myself. It's just better this way. And you aren't going to change my mind." Gabi said as she walked out of the dorm. She decided to go for a walk around the lake in order to clear her head.

"Gabi? Ohh this is ridiculous…" Lily sighed as she too walked down the stairs.

"Bye Lily! It's not like I wanted to talk to you or anything!" Mary shouted at her retreating back.

() () () ()

James had been lying down on the field for twenty minutes as he debated what to do next with Lily. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her away, but he also wanted to be there for her…if only he knew what exactly she thought of him. But how do I get her to tell me the truth? He was debating the different ways to get the truth out of someone as he started back to the school. As he was passing the lake he suddenly knew how it was that he was going to figure out the truth and that would be courtesy of the brunette he saw sitting across the lake.

"Gabi!" He yelled as he jogged over next to her "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked as he plopped down next to her. He turned to look at her and noticed the tears on her cheeks. Without another word he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and just let her fall against him.

They sat like that for a few minutes before Gabi sat straight up and rubbed the tears off her face. She glanced over at James who respectfully was still looking at the lake and not at her. She opened her mouth to say something… anything but no words came to her mouth so she just laid her hand on his shoulder and stood up to walk back to the dormitories.

James stayed there for a minute longer before following her back into the castle. But what the two did not realize was that there was someone out there that night. Someone had been watching them and someone was now mad, very mad.


	7. Chapter 7: What Just Happened?

Chapter 7: What Just Happened?

A week had come and gone and the tension between the Gryffindors had become greater and greater. Sirius was sitting by himself on the couch writing his Transfiguration essay when Lily walked through the common room doors with none other than James Potter walking next to her. "I don't understand how you don't get it. It's Quidditch! How is that not important?"

"The fact that you think a sport is more important than your education just proves how moronic that sport actually is!" Lily said as she moved towards the armchairs to sit down, but before she could James grabbed her arm.

He looked straight at Sirius as he spoke, "Lily, why don't we go study at the library, it's a little too crowded in here."

"But Sirius is the only one over here…" Lily said as James continued to drag her out of the common room. Once they got through the portrait hole, Lily shook her arm free. "Just what do you think you're doing? Sirius is your best mate and you've been ignoring him all week!"

"You're one to talk! I haven't seen you with Gabi or Mary this week either. You're just using me to hide from them aren't you?" James asked with an annoyed look on his face. He didn't even wait for her response before he turned on his heel and headed down the corridor without her.

"Potter! Hey!" She called after him but he didn't so much as slow down his pace. So with a shake of her head she headed back in the common room to see if Sirius would talk to her. But as she walked back in she realized she was walking in on a fight between Sirius and Remus.

"What have I done that is so bad? I've been treated like a disease this whole week!" Sirius shouted as he jumped off the couch and took a step towards Remus.

"Of course you're only thinking about yourself again! Do you even hear yourself?! All you ever say i and guess what? I'm sick of it!"

"I do not always think about myself!"

"Denial but figures you are a Black after all." With that last comment Sirius leaped off the couch and onto Remus. Soon the two boys became a flurry of fists.

"Stop it! Stop! You boys are not setting a good example! Sirius! Remus! STOP! I SAID STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Lily screamed as she reached for her wand. "PROTEGO!" The force of her spell sent both boys flying back to the wall. They want broke two chairs, a lamp, and had overturned the couch in their struggle. "What is wrong with you lot? You guys are supposed to be best mates, but lately all of you have been fighting like crazy!"

"He started it!" Sirius said as he spat out the blood that had trickled down from the gash on his forehead.

"You started this a long time ago." Remus replied with venom in his eyes.

"Both of you shut your mouths! Did I tell you you could talk? No I don't think so." She snarled, looking at the gash on Sirius' head and the rapidly forming black eye on Remus. "This is not over." Lily scowled as she waved her wand and healed the boys of her injuries. "I do not want to see you two fighting again! You are supposed to be an example for the younger students! Now go calm down and I will think about your punishment." Once she lifted the charm Sirius ran upstairs and Remus walked out of the portrait.

With a sigh she collapsed on the couch. _'What just happened?' _This week has probably been one of the weirdest ones in her existence. _'Everything has been so different lately. James and Sirius and Remus are fighting. Mary and Gabi are not quite back to normal, so of course I get dragged between the two of them. How do they expect me to choose between the two of them? But maybe avoiding them isn't the answer either. Clearly James thinks so… what James? No it's Potter. Potter doesn't think so.'_ Lily sat on the chair rubbing her eyes as she tried to make sense of how much everything had changed and how fast. _'I'm even voluntarily spending time with Potter! Not only that but I let him touch my arm today with out freaking out! It actually felt pretty nice…but that's not the point! He is Potter. I do not like Potter. I do not like Potter touching me! Goodness this year is so weird…'_

And of course as fate would have it, at that exact moment while she is debating Potter over and over again in her head, his big fat head comes bounding in through the portrait hole. But once he takes in the state that the common room was in the gloomy look flew off his face, replaced with one of concern. "Lily? Lily, are you okay? What happened here?" he said as he ran over to her looking at the damage his best mates had done on the common room.

"This mess is courtesy of your supposed best mates. And as far as how I am… You have never cared in the past so don't bother starting now." Lily said as she stood up and walked up the stairs to her room.

"What?" James said out loud to no one in particular. Shaking his head, he waved his wand and the common room was back to normal. What on Merlin's green earth could Lily be so upset about? She was the one using him, not the other way around…

As he climbed the stairs up to his room he started to hear muffled screams and what sounded like a window shattering. Hurrying up his pace he started to take the stairs two at a time, and then three. The noise kept getting louder and louder. With dismay he realized that the sound was coming from his own room.

He swung open the door to see Sirius throwing all of his possessions into his trunk and a few things of Remus' out the window that no longer had any glass. "SIRIUS!" James bellowed as he finally got over the shock of what he had walked in on. "What do you think you're doing?" He said as he stood in the exact same spot, unable to move.

"I'm leaving."

"And just where do you think you're going?"

"I don't know… somewhere, anywhere but here!"

"But… why?" James said as he watched his friend continue to throw everything into the trunk.

"Why? Are you really asking me why James? Do you realize this is the first time all week that you have actually spoken to me? I realized I made a mistake with Snape but I can't handle you and Remus treating me like I'm a moron! I need to get out of here!" Sirius exclaimed as he tried to move past James to the door, but James slid in front of him, blocking his path.

"Ohh no you don't. We have been through so much together I am not about to let you throw it all away now. And yes we are pissed at you and we should be. Especially Remus! Do you realize what could happen if Snape told people? It would be catastrophic! That doesn't mean you run away though! Remus needs time to deal with this. You can't expect him to wake up the next day and be fine with it! He almost killed Snape. All these years of precautions were almost blown because you lost your temper! So don't you dare blame Remus and me for the cold shoulder you are getting. Grow up. It's not all about you." James snapped as he grabbed the trunk out of Sirius' hands and placed it back on his bed before moving to the window and summoning up Remus's things before fixing the glass.

After he had finished he turned around to see Sirius standing in the same spot as before. "I… I never thought about it like that before. I thought you guys didn't want anything to do with me anymore." Sirius said as he stared at his shoes, guilt overcoming him. How could he have been so stupid?

"Pads… Remus just needs some time, and it would probably help if you apologized to him."

"Apologize… right." Sirius said as he walked down the stairs in search of Remus. With a sigh James collapsed on the bed with a sigh. This whole thing with Lily was starting to get more and more complicated. What is happening?

() () () ()

As Lily climbed the stairs up to her room she started to feel guilty about how she had spoke to Potter, he was just trying to be nice and she snapped at him. Not that he doesn't usually deserve it, but he had been so nice. He had even been sort of a friend over the past week. As she walked through the door she realized that coming up her had probably been a bad idea.

There were two strange owls sitting next to her bed each with a rather thick envelope attached. Sighing she reached over and took the letters from them. She looked at the 'Lily Evans' scrawled across the front of the envelope in the handwriting that was once again starting to be familiar to her. Without even opening them she opened the drawer in her dresser and placed them with all the others.

She hadn't heard from her dad in years and now suddenly he wants to get in touch with her? Good luck with that.

() () () ()

"Remus?" Sirius poked his head around the corner of the library to see his friend with his head bent down over a pile of books. "Remus can I talk to you for a second?"

Remus looked up to see a side of Sirius he had only seen once or twice before. His usually cocky grin and air of importance were gone. Instead he was rubbing his hands together with his eyes pasted on the floor. "Sirius? What's wrong?"

"I… I was wrong. I shouldn't have done what I did. I didn't realize what I was doing while I was doing it. And I wasn't thinking about how I was making things… difficult for you and James. So I just wanted to come down and say, I'm sorry." And with that Sirius turned on his heel and walked out of the library, leaving a stunned Remus in his wake.

'_Did Sirius just apologize?'_ Remus thought as he continued to stare after his friend. _'Wow. What just happened?'_


End file.
